What a day. I met with the counselor of the high school which my oldest daughter will be starting in less than a month. WHO ELSE CRIED? I didn't cry right then. Formerly, I was the school nurse at the high school in our home town. So when someone, a great friend, heard my voice, she searched me out and an hour and a half later, I found myself in a different state of mind. Catching up on the past few years, when I left the school as the nurse I was going thru a divorce, she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. So many milestones in both our lives had been met, and so many blessed misses had been experienced. To reconnect with someone who is nonjudgmental and acknowledging of how life does not give you a guarantee to happiness, but lessons. Lessons everyday. If it is not your responsibility, let it go. If it does not make you happy, let it go. If it does no bring you joy, LET IT GO!!!
My children bring me great joy on most days, just like the rest of us right? Some days, our kids suck right?? And some days.... I SUCK. I suck as a friend, I suck as a mom, and I suck as a daughter. But we can make attempts to not suck so much everyday. And as long as you are making an effort every day to not suck more than the day prior, you will make progress. Just make sure to be consistent. Be consistent in prayer, be consistent in effort, be consistent with judgment. You never know your neighbors story, be supportive, be consistent, be human.
I see my child's future in front of me today, all the Honors classes and courses planned for this or that in agriculture and construction. WOWOWOWOWOW Yall, my Emma--- the indorsy, gonna make cute jewelry, fashionista <3, my ride or die who did not speak for the first year of her life-because I didn't know how to 'TALK' except straight up adult conversations, she spoke with her eyes, her soul... She is amazing.
***SPOTLIGHT*** She is an amazing human with so much confidence, so much of God's light shines through her. She is my kryptonite. This evening she brings me letters I wrote her the summer of 2016, June. Emma was attending the Baptist Girls in Action Camp at Palacios, Texas. This was the summer post divorce of the only father figure she had. I wish I mentally was still there. What I wrote to her inspired me tonight. I was so strong in my faith, I was so sure, maybe it was a bluff to show her and her sister how strong I was for them, BUT I CAN READ THE STRENGTH IN MY LETTER.
You want to know where I was? I was renovating a camper on someone's property, that had no air conditioning, poor flooring and a bleak outlook. We were at rock bottom. And that is where we lived! They loved it, it was like camping, for the first month only. On the upside, we were together, we were a unit, and we were unbreakable. That was a valuable life lesson to us all. Lessons learned included caring for those who can't care for themselves, even when you think you can not take care of your own self, feeding others before your own family, because they needed more nutrition than you. Witnessing true struggle, realization of true contentment. LIFE EXPERIENCE/SKILLS.
We are still unbreakable, we are unified, we are The Queen Bees. We have been to hell and back a few times, this is one story to share. I am proud to share my mistakes, they make me who I am, my mistakes have given my children a firm foundation for being more successful. My mother shaped our lives more than anyone. We have more life skills than most, I am proud of both of my young ladies. Time is creeping up and I don't want to miss one minute of their life. I PRAY tonight, may the glorious Lord bless them over and over, cover them in protection from evil, continue to provide them with enlightenment to share his love and grace to those who need it most, including myself.